Defending Paris

John, Jeff and I talked about how I'm probably a bigger fan of Midnight In Paris; we both enjoyed it, but I'll be the one with it in my top ten at the end of the year...he probably won't (he thinks he's too good for it). But I also know that he wrote about the movie on here a fortnight or so before I joined, so obviously you're going to poke at him about it. That and he kinda looks like Woody.

But really, when you think about it, Owen Wilson's character in MIP is a lot like John Wayne's character in Stagecoach...just kidding. I know you'll never be on board.

None of Woody's current films will ever be as good as what he did in the 70s and 80s, but like Jeff said a few months back - if he's able to write something that's amusing and interesting, it's always a blast for us.

But you can bash on the Harry Potter movie franchise all you want. I like to pretend to be a bigger nerd than I really am (I'd only really defend the books). Even if I were paid, I don't know that I'd watch any of those movies again. Well, okay, I will accept money...let's never take that off the table.

As you know, I completely agree that Walt is unlikable now. It's also just crazy that he's being left behind on his own show as well (Jesse, Mike, and Gus seem to be having all the fun). That last episode was awesome; can't wait for the next. Also it's cool to see Bryan Cranston in something like Drive as a reminder of how much he transforms while playing Walt. It's brilliant acting by him - he's a completely different person.

It used to be true of me that I never missed an episode of The Colbert Report or The Daily Show. I've been to live tapings for both shows - I think I've done Colbert 3 or 4 times. It was a dream of mine to be a writer on that show while I was at college, so it does sadden me to report that I haven't been watching either show in a while. I just don't feel as if there is time for me to catch them anymore (which is not exactly true), but also I am trying to remove myself from politics lately. Obama has disappointed me to the point that I've decided I won't be voting next November. But I'll probably try to catch a few episodes here and there.

Ben, agreed about Weeds. Leaving Agrestic and dumping Conrad hurt the show a lot and the writing hasn't been as strong since 3. I was pleasantly surprised with season 6, but now we're back to crap. I'll probably finish the season at some point, though. Glad that we'll be able to talk about Boardwalk. I haven't seen Treme but I've heard really good things.

I know the Emmys are a joke, but it's damn silly to put HBO/AMC/Showtime shows in the same category as crappy ABC and CBS shows - I'm looking at you, Modern Family. My apologies if anyone on here watches that show - there are worse things out there, but still.

With NBC, I can't wait for more 30 Rock. Too bad we have to wait until mid-season for new episodes. I'm also hoping Parks and Recreation will get a little funnier now that it seems to have found a larger audience. We need more Ben Schwartz/ Jean-Ralphio and Aziz scenes. The Office hasn't been relevant for me since the writer's strike. How the mighty hath fallen - I've been re-watching season 3 (when the show was brilliant). Steve Carell was hilarious, Andy Bernard was better off as a douchey Cornell grad with anger problems, and the Jim/Pam stuff seemed so real at times that you forgot you were watching actors on a show.

Brandon, like Ben, I hope to donate to the Kickstarter project after I get my next paycheck. Again, hope the tour is going well. And, had you gone out on tour without giving us a bathroom story, I would've been disappointed. So thanks for that hilarious facebook post a week ago or so.

I stayed home sick today and considered watching Cold Weather on the Reed Hasting's NWI but I watched Shadow of a Doubt instead. I remain a nincompoop for now but I still might catch it. Give me time.

I think I said that I had more to say on Drive. I guess I just don't. Not until someone else posts...

Drive

Well, someone else will have to be the dissenting voice...

Drive was f*cking awesome - there's really no other appropriate way for me to put it. It's the reason why I go to the movies. Like Jeff, I might be inclined to call it a masterpiece because I didn't walk away from the theater with any regrets or any feelings that I would change something about it. There's no wasted time here. It is what it is and it can't be duplicated. Well, people might try and duplicate it, but they'll fail miserably if they do.

The style, the music, the script, the direction all worked wonderfully together. Without this movie, I'd probably never give the soundtrack any consideration, but it fits perfectly and even makes an already very cool film that much cooler.

Lisa posted that apt/amusing someecard on facebook. Really, though, I think I have a crush on everyone in this film - even Ron Perlman's ugly self. As Jeff said, the chemistry between Gosling and Mulligan is perfect - they say so much just from staring at each other. Cranston, Brooks, Oscar Issac, Christina Hendricks, Perlman, Kaden Leos - hats off.

The camera movement was silky smooth and I agree with Jeff that Refn upped his game for this one (though I've only also seen Bronson, which I really enjoyed). I'm glad he wrote the thing about Gosling recruiting him for this project - just goes to show how this one was completely rescued. I guess the shitty action film that featured Hugh Jackman was turned into Real Steel. Refn also just handled the tension perfectly and the tension was aided by the degree of violence in the film. Brooks and Perlman are dangerous people who want hesitate to stab you multiple times in the throat.  Brandon noted how some of the reviews were critical of the violence, and really, people should know what they're getting into before seeing this...as it's pretty graphic; I had my wisdom teeth removed earlier in the day and luckily I wasn't feeling nauseous at the time.

We've talked about violence in film quite a bit on these blogs, so maybe this film will help to continue that conversation a bit - but I definitely saw no problems with how it was handled. The driver's attitude throughout the film seemed very nonchalant and fearless - Refn matched that fearlessness with each decision and I love it.

The pacing is also brilliantly done - as John said, even when the movie feels very slow, Gosling and Mulligan's facial expressions keep the film moving. The silent scenes are just as enjoyable for me as the car chases and everything else. And I wish I had counted the seconds in which Gosling sat in the car with his stab wound at the end. You were waiting for that blink and each second that he didn't was a bit mesmerizing.

Who is the audience for this movie? Not that I really care, but I did expect this film to do better in the box office - it seems to offer a little bit of something for everyone. I wouldn't be shocked to hear a negative review of the film, but I'd really have to be convinced that there's nothing redeemable about it. But word-of-mouth is traveling quickly - it's too violent and it isn't The Fast and the Furious. More to love.

This first post is pretty gushy - sorry. I have more to say, but right now I'm feeling feverish (Gosling fever, perhaps?) and I need to lie down. Let me think about things a bit more, because I know there's still quite a bit to discuss. I can't wait for everyone else to see it, and hopefully that happens soon.

No TV and No Beer Make Homer Go...something something.

With Brandon soaking up the rays in Atlanta, there's no one to stop us from letting our love for television shine! I do hope the tour is going well.

Careful, folks - some spoilers ahead.


The Simpsons

John, we've finished season 7, but I might wait a few weeks before posting to give you a chance to watch more. I hope you're enjoying it, though; this truly is a great season. But, if you are watching the episodes in order, the season does fizzle out a bit after A Fish Called Selma...not too much but a little, in my opinion.

Breaking Bad

The fourth season has really picked up during the past few weeks and I'm enjoying the second half much more than the first (the opposite of season 3, really). Bryan Cranston is one hell of an actor and I love the guy - but I gotta admit that Walter White is currently one of my least favorite characters. I can't believe I see him in the same light as Skyler, Marie, and Hank. It's not something I'm happy about...believe me. Prediction (though probably an obvious one): Hank will be dead by the end of the season.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

I've just finished the 8th season and overall it was very enjoyable. It did lack focus throughout; the arc wasn't as present as in the previous seasons. It was supposed to be the "Larry returns to New York" season, but he didn't go there until the sixth episode or so. Even when he got to NYC, there was no real arc. That's not too much of a complaint, though. I haven't been throughly pleased with a season since the fourth. Seasons 5-7 made me laugh, but the episodes got more and more ridiculous and I was pretty critical of them as I watched. Season 8 was along the same lines, but I've learned to let go of that criticism and just sit back  and let the show entertain me - no matter how ridiculous the story got. I thought the finale was hilarious, and hopefully Larry gives us a season 9. I'm not ready for it to end.

Weeds


I believe I'm on episode six or seven of the seventh season. I didn't necessarily choose to stop watching, it just worked out that way. My opinion on the season so far isn't very favorable. It isn't as bad as season five, but it's definitely worse than six. Bringing Heylia back was a great decision and definitely gave the season a much needed shot in the arm. But Nancy still sleeps with a lot of randos (sigh) and Andy has been mostly pushed to the background. I'm losing interest and I think I heard a rumor that this would be last season. If so, it'd probably be the right call. I just hope the finale is memorable because I still believe the series deserves as much.

Boardwalk Empire

Season 2 premiers on September 25th; if you're unfamiliar with this show, do yourself a favor and watch it (google "project free tv"). Season 1 was phenomenal; this is definitely one of the best shows on television, if not the best. Great cast - especially the three Michaels - Pitt, Shannon, and Stuhlbarg, great writing, and a great visual style. No spoilers, just go out and see it. If you have, let's talk.

Dexter

The sixth season starts on October 2nd. My expectations aren't too high as the previous season was mostly boring. It's cool that Mos Def and Colin Hanks have been added to the cast, but yeah, I'm not sure what we'll get from this upcoming season. Season 1 was one of the greatest television experiences of my life; season 2 was pretty damn good; season 3 stunk; season 4 was fantastic and emotional; and again, five was "meh." Here's hoping I'm pleasantly surprised.

The State


I just got the complete series in an auction on ebay. I was too young to watch the show when it was on, but maybe some of you Gen-Xers were fans. I'm a big fan of Wet Hot American Summer and that prompted me to check this out on Netflix a year or two ago. Not every sketch hits the mark, but there's a lot of great stuff - "Teens and 'dults don't mix."

I feel like I'm missing something...hmm...

Lastly, I guess it's only right that we're all seeing Drive separately since Brandon was the first one to post on it and he wouldn't be able to watch it with us. It definitely would've been nice if we all got to see it together (Jason and Lisa included, but obviously it's a hell of a lot tougher for you two to catch movies with us). So again, at least now no one has to worry about missing out on the group viewing.

Movie Round-up

I haven't posted in a while, but I have been watching a lot of moooovies. Like many of you, I'm really excited for Drive and can't wait for that CR5FC event; I can confirm that Binghamton Regal will start showing it this Friday, but because Jeff only has class on Tuesday and Thursday, we probably won't go until next week...but let's make it happen, gang!

Below this line is a list of films I've recently watched...

Miller's Crossing

I've wanted to watch this one for a long time. Brandon and Jeff's "top ten gangster films" discussion prompted me to move it to the top of my queue a few weeks back. Great performances from everyone (I especially loved J.E. Freeman as "The Dane"); the direction and script were exactly what I would expect from the Coen's - brilliant.

The Vanishing

Watched the '88 original. Jeff told me about this one a year ago or so. In fact, I believe he spoiled the ending for me, but because he spoiled it so long ago, I mostly forgot. Anyway, I was really impressed with this one - especially the story. I also had an idea for the last shot of the film, but it could easily be considered corny. (SPOILERS AHEAD) Given Saskia's dream of two lights traveling through the darkness, I thought it would've been cool to have a shot of Saskia and Rex in their respective graves, each holding up a lighter. But in order for that to be possible, Saskia would've had to been buried a day earlier instead of three years earlier. Oh well, still an interesting one that I would recommend.

Europa

I really like Von Trier...as a director/writer. I don't necessarily need to like him as a person, but I'll admit that I don't mind him at all in that department; the man is nothing more than a goofball. This film is a fine example of why I feel the way I do about his filmmaking abilities. The style was inspired and very cool.


Notorious

The Hitchcock film...not the Biggie bio-pic (sorry, guys). I've also wanted to watch this one for a long time. Hitchcock, Grant, and Bergman is a winning trio for me. I'm working on a top-ten Hitchcock list, but it probably won't be posted for another month or so. I'm trying to catch a lot of the ones I've missed. I really enjoyed this one, though, and I'll probably save my comments for that aforementioned future post.

Glengarry Glen Ross

Gotta love Alec Baldwin and gotta love this Mamet script - a lot of cursing and a lot of ego. Yes!

Rio Bravo

This was my first John Wayne film. I know, I know. But I haven't been living under a rock, so I've always been familiar with Wayne and the type of characters he played. Honestly, I've avoided him for a long time because I never saw him as a good actor and he just seemed like a douchey human being to me. Having said that, I found him to be very likable in this one. But what surprised me a little more was that he got the girl in the end. Sure, I regret being dismissive of him, but goddamn, the man is not very attractive.

Saboteur

Once again, another Hitchcock film I hadn't seen. More thoughts to come with the Hitchcock list. But I will say that I loved it.

White Heat

A post of firsts - yes, I'm very ashamed to admit that this was my first Cagney film. Now I know what I've been missing. Cagney completely blew me away...as you'd expect. Absolutely phenomenal; it's tough to take your eyes off of him as he just commands every scene he's in. His performance as Cody Jarrett was also pretty terrifying. I'd never shoot your ma in the back, Cody. I swear. Also, I've already made plans to see everything else he's in.

Meek's Cutoff just came to Netflix; it's at the top of my queue. Same deal with Jane Eyre.

John, we love season 7 of The Simpsons - definitely one of our favorites with a lot of great episodes/storylines. We're on the fourth disc (I believe we only have three or four episodes left). Hopefully you're ready to do some ranking soon.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe...To Stop Posting On DBAOTD

I'm really wishing I lived in the house from the movie right now. I've got a wisdom tooth that is bugging the hell out of me.

Ha, my bad for stealing your thunder, John. Right before I posted I thought about how I probably wrote too much, but given that we were all mostly in agreement, someone's thunder was going to be stolen.

Jesse and Mike vs. the Tooth Faeries would definitely be another hit for AMC - they should look into it. Not only would they be gangsters, but they'd also take on ghostbusting jobs as well.

At one point while we were watching the movie, I believe it was the dinner scene, I began wonder what the movie would be like as a screwball comedy. It would've been great if the faeries started playing pranks on Charles Widmore and the other guests. Someone's laces should've been tied together or something.

Oh, and speaking of Widmore, I'm happy to see that you're a Lost fan, John. We should discuss that soon, if you're up for it. I think I need to release some pent-up anger over that final season.

I became a fan of Guy Pearce after watching Memento. So I really see Joey Pantoliano as the consummate smarmy jerk. I've got a feeling that you loathe that movie, but I'd like to be proven wrong.

Jeff, definitely agree about the film lacking identity and feeling uneven. Great point.

Anyone who has seen Ernest Scared Stupid knows what an absolute frightfest it is...and I'm not even talking about the acting.

I wanted to hear a horror fan's thoughts on the movie, and that's exactly what I got with Jason's post. Thanks. And with his upcoming post in mind, I wanted to ask the question - if a movie like this isn't scary, does it suck? - in that first post. And this really brings me to one of my beefs with horror films - they're one note. They're either scary or they're not with very little else to offer.

I can understand Jason's frustration, though. Given the trailer and the fact that del Toro was involved, we were led to believe that this one was going to be both scary and very well-done. So I went in with that mindset, and I also expected to be entertained. I was probably too nice to it because I guess I was entertained by it - but it's definitely a movie with a ton of faults. But yeah, I am the last person who should give recommendations on horror (see Ernest Scared Stupid). Maybe I liked it more because it didn't scare me. Very lame, I know.

Again, didn't want to touch the cliches, but now that Jason has brought them up, I will say that I mostly agree. The genre allows for millions of questions/points like those, but I am glad that you listed movies you've seen that do the opposite. That's good to hear. If I ever wrote a horror screenplay, I would do everything I could to avoid these cliches and stupid decisions. Someone needs to put a Llewelyn Moss-type in one of these movies.

One thing I will say that Jeff, John, and I talked about was that del Toro claims that by making Guy Pearce's character financially-tethered to the house, it made it tougher on him to just get up and leave. I sort of understand this as money is a major concern for all of us. But right, your daughter's life should be worth more to you than a mansion house.

Glad we agree about having less face-time with the faeries. We needed more shadows.

Won't Be Afraid of the Dark

It's quite possible that I won't be able to post at all tomorrow, so I figure I would submit this tonight. I imagine Jason is at the theater now and wouldn't even be able to read this until he got back anyway. If you're doing a later showing, obviously ignore this for now. And John and Jeff, don't feel as if you have to respond to my post in your first posts. We've got time to debate. So here goes...

John, it was great to finally meet you; can't wait for the next CR5FC event...which is The Immortals, right? Ben, had you gone with us, you would've understood that inside joke. Sorry, just the facts, my friend.

On Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, I can understand why Guillermo del Toro was pissed about getting an "R" rating; I'd be pissed, too. As a result, the people who would've been terrified by this movie (ages 8-16) won't get to see it unless their parents or a sibling who is also old enough to buy cigs and porn takes them.

Ben and Lisa, you should see it. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. You can trust me - I am very much a wimp when it comes to this stuff (Ernest Scared Stupid freaked me out as a kid) and I slept very peacefully in an apartment by myself Thursday night. Lights off and everything.

I'll be interested to hear what our resident horror experts, Jason and Brandon, think about it...but then I'd also like to hear from someone who was scared by it...so I could pick on them. Stupid, scared little kids. Kidding, kids.

There was a moment when I sat in the theater and wondered whether or not I was now too old to be afraid of a movie. But I think I really just chalk it up to the movie being more appropriate for a younger audience. Had I seen this movie at the age of thirteen, I probably would've bankrupted my parents with the electric bill.

So the "scary movie" wasn't scary - doesn't that make it bad or unsuccessful? No, I enjoyed it and thought it was entertaining. I also think it's best to see it in the theater. This movie is great if there are speakers behind you; it definitely gave the movie more atmosphere and life...makes you feel as if you're being watched or something.

Simultaneously, I'm trying not to get hung up on a lot of the horror movie cliches that were also in this one. The only review I did glance at before seeing the movie was one in which the reviewer couldn't seem to get over the fact that Sally's father, Alex, didn't decide to leave the house sooner (though del Toro does have a pretty good response for me). I know I can't fixate on that because without that stupid decision and many other stupid decisions, the movie would only be twenty minutes long. Stupidity is a catalyst for conflict, especially in horror. In that sense, I can understand why many people laugh throughout these kinds of movies. Sometimes they can be pretty damn silly. There were a couple of moments when Jeff, John, and I exchanged smirks. The whispering that made the trailer and website kind of spooky wasn't really effective in the film, I have to say. Sometimes what was whispered was downright laughable.

Other criticisms - I really am tired of characters like Alex, but what are you going to do? Granted, if I had a daughter and she told me that little creatures climbed into her room and were trying to take her, I'd probably be dismissive, too. Films like these are supposed to be based in our world, so of course Alex is going to ignore her and up her dosage of Adderall instead. Okay, fine...but still.

And while I'd rather watch this movie than many of the others in the horror genre, I still sat in my chair and thought to myself, "It would be nice to watch a horror movie that was completely devoid of these cliches. To have more story going on and to have characters who didn't say the things you knew they were going to say." Someday. But the movie is enjoyable because, as del Toro tells us, it's of the same mold as many of the older haunted house movies that children might come across while channel surfing late at night. It very much has a vintage kind of feel to it. I didn't see the original made-for-tv version.


The movie is effective in making you dislike Pearce's character (an actor I like) and making you like Katie Holmes' character (an actress I dislike). But hell, she was attractive and even likeable in this. Bailee Madison was great - a cute kid who did a really nice job. I felt that the house had a nice design and was a great-looking haunted house. The door on the basement was pretty cool as was the look of the basement itself. I also liked the folklore aspect of the story and maybe felt that that part should've been played up more. But I don't think the movie necessarily needed to be too much longer.

Since I'm still holding out hope that Ben and Lisa will see it (and since Brandon is out on tour and his opportunities are limited), I'd like to point out that below this sentence is my SPOILERS section.

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I liked the opening scene as it was definitely the creepiest part of the movie. It got my anticipation up and even put me a little on edge, I admit. Since they got an R anyway, they probably should have just shown Blackwood hammering through the maid's skull. But you guys know me and it's probably best that I didn't witness something like that. Ha.

But yeah, after that...the...movie...slowed...down...a little...too...much.

What do you guys think - did we see too much of the creatures? Part of me feels that we did and that that made them less terrifying. I was content with the design and computerization of them, though. I guess I'm old-fashioned in only wanting to see my monsters until the very end.

One thing that I mentioned to Jeff and John was that I was a little shocked by the ending. I did not expect Kim to die. I figured that the movie would most likely end with them leaving the house and showing that someone else had moved in. But yeah, didn't expect her to die. A part of me likes that she did, but yeah, that also sucks; she didn't deserve it. Funny how the guys like Alex, who are assholes throughout the entire ordeal, usually live. I think I was mainly shocked because of the idea that they wanted a PG-13 rating. How many PG-13 movies can you think of in which an innocent main character dies? I'm not saying I agree with the MPAA, but that was a little strange and unexpected. Also, after she was taken down the hole, I half-expected a rescue scene. Maybe that would've been cheesy and stupid, but I think it would've been cool to see what was down there. Maybe a paradise full of happy full-toothed children as John suggested.

But her death does work because it gives us a nice ending in which Kim's whispers can now be heard with the rest of the creatures. A nice little nugget to leave us with.

Another scene that I thought was well-done was when Harris (the gardener) was attacked. Pretty cool in a slightly gruesome (based on my standards) sort of way.

But I've said a lot and I should probably leave some room for everyone else to talk about it. Again, I don't necessarily want this early post to influence what anyone else writes about it tomorrow. If we say similar stuff, so be it.

Animals vs. Humans (whoever wins, we lose)

John, thanks for the Simpsons post; I really enjoyed it. I ranked these about a year ago. When Jeff and I re-watch them (whether he wants to or not), I'll probably provide an update.

1. The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
2. They Saved Lisa's Brain
3. Homer to the Max
4. Lisa Gets an A
5. Make Room for Lisa
6. Lard of the Dance
7. Maximum Homerdrive
8. Wild Barts Can't Be Broken
9. Homer Simpson in: Kidney Trouble
10. Mayored to the Mob
11. Bart the Mother
12. Treehouse of Horror IX
13. Monty Can't Buy Me Love
14. Simpsons Bible Stories
15. Marge Simpson in: Screaming Yellow Honkers
16. The Old Man and the "C" Student
17. Viva Ned Flanders
18. Sunday, Cruddy Sunday
19. I'm with Cupid
20. When You Dish Upon a Star
21. Mom and Pop Art
22. Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo
23. D'oh-in the Wind

I agree with a lot the comments you made. The third act of the Treehouse of Horror episode is unbearable. Thankfully Jerry Springer references/jokes are mostly extinct now.

We seem to differ a bit on D'oh-in the Wind. Ha, I think I would like to hear more about your hatred of the 60s. I don't hate hippies, but I hate that episode so much because the jokes are terrible and the story is so extremely stupid...a shame, given George Carlin's involvement. Were the 60s a golden age? Musically, yes. Otherwise, nah. I'm sorry to disappoint my fans, but I'm not a big advocate of psychedelics and free love. But I suppose it's better than an age in which credit default swaps are apparently legal and go unpunished. Really, there's no such thing as a golden age...as Woody Allen brilliantly points out in Midnight In Paris (haha, I just had to add that).

I figured you would enjoy Homer Simpson in "Kidney Trouble." I want to repeat that I feel you and the episode's writer, John Swartzwelder, would get along very well. You have the same first name; there is little photographic proof of either of your existences, and you both enjoy Westerns. Swartzwelder also wrote the season 13 episode "The Lastest Gun in the West," which you'd love if you haven't seen it. Also, he has written a few novels - Double Wonderful being a western. I recommend it, though I have to admit that I've never read it myself and it's probably only available on amazon; I don't think any library would have it. Recommendations are best when they're free. Sorry.

...............................

On the animal/vegetarianism stuff - right, I figured that's what you meant, but I really did want to go on record and state that I'm not a vegetarian. When I joined film club, I told everyone that Jeff and I are very similar. Given that and my pro-PETA/anti-factory farm statements, I thought it was important to be clear. Didn't mean to suggest that my response was somehow "got'cha journalism" - I only save that stuff for Sarah Palin.

I definitely understand why my stance on animal vs. human abuse in film is strange. It sounds a little strange even to me. And by that I mean that I don't fully understand why I can watch De Niro be shot to death in Heat (spoiler alert) but if someone runs over a dog in a movie, I feel like shit.

I guess it's partly to do with the pet idea. People love dogs and other domesticated animals; dog is man's best friend, they say. Jeff and I grew up with our beagle (named him Lucky because we were heavily influenced by 101 Dalmatians during mid-90s). Now we have a cat and even though she's slightly evil, I love her and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her. Animals are also like babies. They're cute and amusing. I don't think we'd want to watch babies be harmed in a movie.

A great example of cats being thrown around by their tails is in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Obviously it's done comedically, but it's done nonetheless and I don't have a problem with it. On the other hand, there's an episode of Game of Thrones in which a lance goes straight through a knight's mask - impaling and killing him - no problems. In that very same episode, another knight (who loses, but lives) gets so pissed off that he chops his horse's head off. Silly and over the top - certainly...but it still rubbed me the wrong way. And yet, I recommend the show to everyone I know and will continue to watch it. But that shot was unnecessary, in my opinion, even though I know that it was all computerized.

Film is simulation, and actors choose to be in film. They read the script beforehand and they know what they're getting into. If I see a guy on screen getting his scrotum removed by a butter knife I will look away in disgust and disapproval (reading it is another thing...haha, nicely done). But at the end of the day, I know that it was fake and the actor knew what was happening. Animals are forced into it (not cruelly or anything), even though they've been trained to act and do their part. I'm not saying that animals shouldn't be in films (keep those Air Bud movies a-comin'!) but that's something that many people don't consider. If a stunt man is hurt, it's part of the job and he/she receives treatment, payment, and his/her name is in the credits. If a horse's leg accidentally breaks during a shoot, it can only receive medical treatment.

But I don't know that any animals are harmed in movies or television at all anymore, and so I won't chain myself to the gate of a movie studio and demand that someone puts a stop to it. I can't say that I care about the issue too much, but obviously I do to an extent. I do hope some of this made sense. If not, let me know. I do enjoy talking about this stuff.

The Simpsons Episode Rankings: Season 6

David Mirkin's second year as show-runner was another success and it really can viewed as a continuation of the 5th in terms of style/number of jokes per episode. It really was a tough call in choosing the best episode; in the end, I had to give the nod to "The Springfield Connection" because it makes me laugh from beginning to end (bear in mind that when I re-watched that episode it was probably the 20th time that I've seen it, and yet it's still hilarious). It also features one of my all-time favorite quotes - Lisa asks Marge if apprehending a criminal was the most exciting thing she's ever done. Marge claims that it was pretty exciting but that,"Celery soup's pretty exciting too!" Just a great reading from Julie Kavner.

This season is also notable due to the episode, "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" I have slightly vague memories of the contest that coincided with the episode. I was too young to enter, but I remember all of the ads and the hype surrounding it. Great times.

1. The Springfield Connection
2. Homer Badman
3. Lisa on Ice
4. 'Round Springfield
5. Treehouse of Horror V
6. Lisa's Rival
7. Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1
8. Homer the Great
9. A Star Is Burns
10. Bart of Darkness
11. Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
12. Itchy & Scratchy Land
13. Sideshow Bob Roberts
14. Homie the Clown
15. Bart's Comet
16. Lemon of Troy
17. The PTA Disbands
18. Homer vs. Patty and Selma
19. Two Dozen and One Greyhounds
20. Lisa's Wedding
21. Bart vs. Australia
22. And Maggie Makes Three
23. Bart's Girlfriend
24. Fear of Flying
25. Another Simpsons Clip Show

Save The Kitties

Now might be a good time to admit that I am not a vegetarian; I just had roast beef for dinner, in fact. Factory farms are just an evil concept to me despite my love for steak and chicken and pork - essentially my hypocrisy, but I never said that people shouldn't eat meat. I just don't want meat that has been shot up with steroids and has been tortured. We should have a barbecue together sometime, John, and I'll offer some notes for that script of yours. Right off the bat, I think it's lacking some disgustingly sexual scenes.

I get some of my news from the Huffington Post (that's right, bitches) but a lot of the time I skip past the news and go straight to the videos of baby animals doing cute things. Now that's the news I care about.

Brandon, I tried not to back PETA 100%, and I do agree with you. They aren't without their problems - but again, those problems seem minuscule compared to what factory farmers do to their animals. But just for talking shit about PETA I'm going to dump some red paint on you...when you least expect it.

Alex recently told us that you're a Cleveland Browns fan. I'm a Philadelphia Eagles fan and when they added Michael Vick to their squad, PETA protested the signing. Eagles fans flipped their shit and starting ripping on PETA in return. I think PETA's reaction to Vick is understandable - the guy tortured and killed dogs and then a couple years later was handed millions of dollars. That has to be infuriating. Having said that, I like Vick and I think he served his time and I believe him when he says that he is reformed and wants to put a stop to all dog fighting.

I enjoyed the gunfight in Heat as well. It's definitely enthralling and bad ass.

And you definitely made sense with your last post. I sort of agree, but I maintain that we've been extremely violent for centuries. Obviously movies didn't influence the crusades. At the same time, John Hinckley saw Taxi Driver and tried to assassinate Reagan as a result. I think it definitely aides, but it isn't the main cause, which maybe you were saying to begin with. And the media being part of the problem is an interesting idea. After Columbine, trench coat teens all over the country wanted to do the same due to the publicity that Columbine got. So to an extent we are desensitized to violence when watching way too many violent films, violent stories on the news - agreed.

Also, I should state that I haven't seen Antichrist. I probably won't see it. But I don't think that it's wrong for the curiosity to be there - even with you and the case of A Serbian Film. It is just a film (simulation, as John notes) - it's not like someone is trying to market a pro-holocaust film with actual footage from concentration camps or anything. So again, I don't want to make it seem as if I want to outlaw torture porn. As Jay Sherman states in that clip - the blame falls more on the viewer. Human Centipede 2 is on its way, and the audience is at fault. But they're the ones watching it, not me...so maybe they aren't at fault at all. It might be lame to take a stance against something and then just back down, but at the end of the day, I just say no to these kinds of movies and I don't really care if others go. But again, I think the filmmakers of A Serbian Film could probably find something better to shoot/say. It also just strikes me as lazy. Essentially you just have to come up with the most fucked up thing you can imagine - then, time to start shooting. There's not a lot of thought to it, and therefore, it loses points and shouldn't be considered art.

Movies and television have probably allowed our imaginations to grow. But while movies/tv can plant ideas in our head, there needs to be something else there to make us act on those ideas.

Plugging Things

(the caption on the video references Transformers 3, but I'm not posting it as a commentary on that film, even though it blows; this is someone else's youtube post).

"Fox and the Hound," "94 Chapin," "Et Cetera," and "Baseball Bat" are all a lot of fun to listen to - I enjoy them immensely. I don't mean to kiss up to Brandon like this, but really, I'm kissing up to the whole band. And let's face it, he's not the reason why the songs are so great. Kidding. Again, sick bass lines.

Mad Men is a better show than Breaking Bad, John. Those aren't fighting words - it's just the opinion I've developed after re-watching the first two seasons of Mad Men on NWI. Having said that, I do love Breaking Bad and I'm not feeling as critical of the show as I was a few weeks ago. Also, feels like comparing these two AMC shows might be like comparing apples and oranges. Though the oranges and apples would both have to be dramatic ones. It's not like one needs to be considered better than the other. They're both great for what they accomplish. So maybe I take it all back.Maybe not.

I caught the first few episodes of Showtime's The Big C and I flat-out hate it. Laura Linney is the only redeemable aspect of the show. The characters, the actors, the writing - all a big thumbs down. And it has nothing to do with the tone of the show when it comes to cancer. I like that the show tries to put more of a positive spin on things. It's just the tone of everything else on the show that I hate. I don't recommend it.

John, It doesn't surprise me that you've fallen asleep while watching The Simpsons Season 10. Geez, listen to me, I'm such a stereotypically embittered fan. But the watching of The Simpsons is definitely something that I positively associate with sleep - it's something of a tradition for me around bedtime to put a Simpsons disc in, press the sleep button on the remote and watch an episode until I pass out. In a way, the show is like a teddy bear or a blankie to me.

But if we ever meet, John, and I hope we do, we'll definitely have to let you borrow seasons 1-9 of the show. I'd love to hear your perspective on those episodes.

The watching of Twilight Zone has resumed. I know you've haven't had the chance to watch any yet, but Jeff and I just finished season 3's "The Hunt."  It's happening.

And what about The Critic? This is directed at everyone (other than Jeff) - if you're a fan of the short-lived cartoon series about film critic Jay Sherman, you and I will always be pals. Not only was it a funny show (created by Simpsons writers/producers Al Jean and Mike Reiss), it features a ton of great movie parodies. One of my all-time favorite television shows. A shame it only lasted 23 episodes. If you haven't seen it, looks like there are some full episodes up on the youtube.

MOVIES!!!!!!!

Netflix stuff - Saw Heat and I enjoyed it. Liked De Niro, Kilmer, and Pacino in it. Also loved it when assault rifles were used in the middle of a busy street. All right, that last bit was sarcasm, but the rest wasn't. John, you don't care for Jon Voight, but his mullet/'stache combo in this one is one for the ages.

Watched The Sweet Hereafter. It was a strange film and I honestly don't know where it stands with me yet. I know I liked it, but I'm not sure how much. Also seems to be one of those movies where the book might be better than the film. Just felt like that to me and that you'd get more details from the novel. But yeah, mostly I have a favorable impression of the film.

Watched Dead Man Walking. I don't know why I watched this - well, I do, but I don't know why I watched it when I did. Seems like something that should've been put on one of my many back-burners, but it came up on the queue and I watched it. I wouldn't throw all of it in the trash or anything, but a lot of it was pretty standard. A lot of what I liked about it would be considered spoilers. Oh hell, if you haven't seen it...you probably won't. So I liked the fact that Sean Penn's character did commit the murders. He was the awful person he was accused of being the entire film and yet - he is still a human being who garners some sympathy. The execution of criminals isn't always black and white, but I think in the case of this film - it actually is that way (surprisingly and slightly unconventionally); Penn's character deserved death row and so the movie isn't really about innocence. I think it's nice too that Susan Sarandon's character did as Jesus would have done. I liked that she establishes a relationship with both Penn and the parents of the people he murdered.

I'm going to pull the plug on the 80s part of my current movie project (the one in which I watch movies that I missed from the 90s and 80s). I'll watch some 80s movies here and there that I haven't seen or that I haven't seen in a long while (E.T.), but after I finish up the 90s stuff that I want to watch, I'm moving on to the 60s, 50s, and 40s. Time to watch more classics and lesser known classics. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to take them. I definitely want to watch all of the Hitchcock movies I've yet to see. A top ten Hitchcock movies list awaits.

On gore, mostly I agree with Brandon. I think the only time that I do approve of it is when it is done in a comedic way, as he talked about. Evil Dead and the Rodriguez films that you cited were hilarious and I can enjoy them. Very cartoony indeed. And I can appreciate them because I know where the filmmakers are coming from. They are trying to entertain, even at the expense of grossing you out a little and making you uncomfortable with the sexual stuff. I think sex plays a large part in these films as well, not just violence.

And while the creators of Saw or Human Centipede might claim to be doing the same - I could never agree with them. I really don't know where those people are coming from...and definitely the audience is to blame as well because I don't necessarily know what they're getting out of it...especially to go back and see sequels.

I definitely DON'T condemn violence in film. Again, just watched Heat and I don't disapprove of the amount of bullets flying or of the number of people getting plugged. I can watch The Bride chop off Sophie's arm over and over and not feel as if I've been desensitized to violence because I know that it's just a movie. Movies get to show us the things that aren't approved of in society/the things that aren't physically possible. You could say the same things about Human Centipede, I guess, but when it really comes down to it - that shit is digusting and I see no reason for it to exist even in a fictional world. It disturbs me that some people's minds go to that place. But whatever, I'm not too hung up on it; it's very easy to ignore it, I find.

Should horror and gore films exist? Yes and yes. And they should exist without regulation. But there is a part of me, I guess, that would want more people to condemn movies like A Serbian Film and say, "We're not interested. Find something else to say."

On violence, I know I am getting mostly off-topic here, but I feel that people always make the case that television and movies have desensitized us and I completely disagree. I think humans are violent and it's always been that way. People used to watch hangings or gladiators fight to the death. Our world is a violent place.

And as it's true with most things - some people love to watch violence more than others. There's a market for everything because different people like different things.

I think I'm like Jeff in that I'd rather see a person die in a movie than an animal. Never fun to watch an animal harmed or killed, even if it's fake. I think people hate on PETA too much. Yeah they do some ridiculous things, but I don't understand how people can spend time ripping on them and ignore/or approve of what goes on at factory farms. Not to get all political and shit, but those places need to be outlawed, for realz. Oh, highly-opinionated blogging...you're so much fun.