Using a toaster with a flux capacitor, Homer accidentally travels back in time to when "dinosaurs weren't just confined to zoos." Once there, he remembers the advice Grampa gave him on his wedding day, - "If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine." Obviously Homer fails at this and it's met with hilarious results.
Homer: (fed up of the consequences of time travel) Don't touch anything? I'll touch whatever I feel like! (He then begins to stomp and club everything in his path.)
Lisa and Bart hear strange noises coming from the attic; when they ask Homer and Marge about it, they're told to never go up there. Marge then reminds Homer to take a bucket of fish heads up to the attic.
Obviously the moment when Bart and Lisa find the unsold copies of Homer's autobiography, Homer I Hardly Knew Me. But I'll also go with the moment when Dr. Hibbert shows Hugo his reflection in a mirror for the first time.
While riding to school, Bart is only person on the bus to see a gremlin trying to kill everyone on board.
Lisa: Excuse me, Bart's a little upset this morning, so could everyone please be extra-nice to him?
Jimbo: Hey, where's your diaper, baby? (pulls down Bart's pants)
Martin: Thank goodness he's drawn attention away from my shirt. (Martin wearing a Wang Computers t-shirt.)
Homer buys a matter transporter at Professor Frink's yard sale for thirty-five cents. After accidentally splicing the DNA of Snowball II and Santa's Little Helper together, Bart decides to splice himself with a fly so that he can become a half-man, half-fly superhero.
The opening at the yard sale is all gold.
Homer strikes a Faustian deal for doughnut. However, a trial must take place to decide whether Homer's soul rightfully belongs to the devil...or someone else.
Lenny: Sorry, Homer. While you were daydreaming we ate all the donuts.
Carl: Well, there were a few left, but we chucked them at an old man for kicks.
[shot of Abe running with a donut stuck to his head; multiple birds are swarming on him]
Abe: Damn buzzards! I ain't dead yet.
Mayor Quimby won't apologize for offending the French. In retaliation, Springfield is hit with a nuclear missile at the exact moment that Homer is testing out a bomb shelter. Eventually, he realizes he is the only survivor in town...or is he?
Yeah, I've got to go with when Homer finds the Gary Larson calendar in the bomb shelter, saying, "I don't get it" each time he turns the page. I also love the moment when the Freaks get into their racer to chase after Homer driving a hearse.
Bart finds a book of spells in the Occult section of the school library. He and Lisa then attempt to bring the The Simpson family's dead cat, Snowball I, back to life. But the spell Bart reads ends up unleashing a zombie attack on Springfield instead.
(Homer shoots Flanders)
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: He was a zombie?
I also love the moment when Homer and the family are walking through the halls of Springfield Elementary - killing George Washington, Albert Einstein, and William Shakespeare. "Take that Washington! Eat lead, Einstein! Show's over, Shakespeare!"
The Simpsons take on Stanley Kubrick's The Shining, which is referred to here as the "shinning" so as to avoid a lawsuit.
There are too many to list; the entire episode is brilliant. But one of my favorite jokes of the entire series is:
Lisa: Mom, is Dad going to try and kill us?
Marge: I guess we're just gonna have to wait and see.
Another brilliant spoof - this time it's Francis Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Abe: (running into Bart's room with a stake) We must kill the boy!
Marge: Grampa, how'd you know he was a vampire?
Abe: He's a vampire?! (runs out of the room in fear)
I also love the scenes when The Simpsons go over to Mr. Burn's (who is playing the part of Dracula) castle for dinner.
Lisa: (smelling her drink) Dad, this is blood!
Homer: Correction...free blood! (quaffing)
Homer forgets to buy a present for Bart's birthday. At the House of Evil shop, Homer buys a Krusty doll that carries a terrible curse.
The Frogurt routine is brilliant and is one my favorite moments in the entire series. But this segment does get my number 1 spot because I love every single scene. Every joke is hilarious and I often quote them. I also love the moments at the Halloween party before and after Lisa tells this story.
Almost made it: Nightmare Cafeteria, Citizen Kang, Hell Toupee, Lisa's Dream: The Monkey's Paw